One of the hardest things that inexperienced leaders in any capacity have to deal with is that of confrontations. Me personally, by nature, I would consider myself to be non-confrontational. The purpose of this post is to help many who have asked about it. In recent days, there have been some things that I have had to deal with that required confrontation. This has been fresh in my personal devotions and study as well since I have been reading about Saul, David, Solomon and others that at some point in their lives, they had to deal with confrontation. For the most part, it was always with the man of God. Saul=Samuel. David=Nathan. Pharisees=Jesus.
If you tend to be more passive, you tend to coddle rather than confront. When a leader decides that he will coddle or pacify a situation rather than confront a situation, God will not bless! I have learned and seen that the more willing you are to confront a situation, the more you will see that God can work not only in your life but your ministry as a whole.
Coddle: to gratify; to baby; to pacify or soothe.
Confront: to stand in direct opposition; to oppose.
Here are some considerations when dealing with issues (do keep in mind, this is not referring to dealing with sin, but with general issues):
- Why I am concerned about this issue?
- Do I have the mind of Christ?
- Take it to the right person (Matthew 18, Matt 5)
Don’t feel like you need to tell your best friend or another co-worker or leader just to “bounce it” off of them. Be sure that the right people are involved.
- Don’t do it alone if you have already dealt with it before.
Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses. I Timothy 5:19
Make sure that others see the problem and that it is not just an issue with you.
- Do it gently and ask questions
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; I Timothy 5:1
When you ask questions rather than proving your point, it disarms the recipient. When you intreat someone, you are kind to someone.
Intreat: to make an earnest request
- Don’t demand your rights (Galatians 6:1)
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Galatians 6:1
Even if you have the right, be sure to do it in the spirit of meekness (for this truly is meekness). What is meekness? Meekness is temperance under control. You may have the right to chew them completely out, but DON’T do it. Be sure that you take the opportunity to teach and restore while dealing with the problem.
- Never respond right away.
Deal with sin right away, but if it is not a sin, please do not respond immediately. Wait patiently; give yourself at least 12-24 hours to give the proper response. Oftentimes, you will find that the ability to step away from the
Keep the following things in mind:
1. How you approach is important.
2. The timing of the approach is important.
3. Understanding whom the recipient of your confrontation is important.
I would love your feedback.